a fresh start.

http://www.xanga.com/justlikea__pill

i'll leave the link up till monday.

  i asked my parents if i could get a 2nd peircing in my ears for christmas.

and i'm getting it done in ten days?! fuck yeaaah. :)

things are good, not great. but i'm definitely not complaining. its just nice not to feel like things are okay.

formalll<3.

______________________*

im trying so hard to do well in everything i do, and not feel so bland all the time. i know i've changed a lot since last year. i see it especially when im with my old friends. and everyone at school, everyone seems so happy and carefree all the time. i just know im not like that. do i feel like an outcast? no. but can i relate to them? not at all. i just dont know. im scared of letting everyone down. im scared to get down to that crashing point again.  

i wish i was smaller. i was i had no worries. i wish i didn't have to hide things all the time.

i wish i was better.

tuesday night the two high schools in my district recieved a phone call from philly for a 48 hour bomb threat. we had off yesterday and a two hour delay today. half the school stayed home today anyway. i went because i had 4 tests schedueled for today, granted i only had to take one of them. the other high school (south) got three more threats this morning. our local news announced that both schools were under "lock down", which is wrong because neither of us were. my mom heard while she was at work and she was hysterical.

everythings changing.
i miss sea isle. i miss the summer.

slowly but surely, each day feels a little better.

its only a matter of time before i crash again. but for now i don't care. im enjoying everything as much as possible. no school tomorrow. 3 tests wednesday.  ill end up craming it all tomrrow at 10 o'clock like i do everytime. my procrastination is horrible, if you haven't noticed. im hoping tomorrow will be good. i was sick all weekend and missed my highschools biggest game against our rivals, going shopping, and chances to hang out with 486758 different people. but i am feeling better, so once again my parents are right. i hate that :P. i hope i'll hang out with alex tomorrow. when he first asked me out, i honestly wasn't sure how long it would last since we were best friends before that happened. but i know ive got a good thing going. i dont know exactly what it is. he calls every night, and sends me the most adorable text messages. i hope kristie can be there too tomorrow.  the fall dance is this saturday. i don't like my dress. how should i get my hair done? i need to find shoes.  i'm sorry for my ramblings. it feels good to let it all out.  

    so, how was your day? (: